Dad Jokes

Algorithm: A word used by programmers when they don't want to explain how their code works.

The glass is neither half-full nor half-empty, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

The six stages of debugging: 1. That can't happen. 2. That doesn't happen on my machine. 3. That shouldn't happen. 4. Why does that happen? 5. Oh, I see. 6. How did that ever work?

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

Have a great weekend! I hope your code behaves the same on Monday as it did on Friday.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

I was reading a great book about an immortal dog the other day. It was impossible to put down.

A guy walks into a bar and asks for 1.4 root beers. The bartender says "I'll have to charge you extra, that's a root beer float". The guy says "In that case, better make it a double."

"We messed up the keming again guys."

I'd tell you a joke about NAT but I would have to translate.